The Darkness That Surround Us
by Trixie Ray
Summary: Blair can’t take it any more, so she surrenders to her “condition”. Who will help her? Will her friends put everything in the past to be there for her? After ATLBCN. Rated T


**The Darkness That Surround Us**

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* * *

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Author:Bea Mendes

**Shipper: **Blair/

**Genre:** Drama/Friendship

**Rated:** T

**Summary:** Blair can't take it any more, so she surrenders to her "condition". Who will help her? Will her friends put everything in the past to be there for her? After ATLBCN.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gossip Girl or any of its characters. I only own the plot of this story.

* * *

"I don't want you anymore. And I can't see why anyone else would."

These words were echoing in Blair's head. She was at her bedroom, and had just talked to her mother about going to France to live with her father and his boyfriend.

She didn't know what to do. How could her life be such a mess right now? No one would ever talk to her again. She had lost Serena, her best friend; Nate, her boyfriend, and even Chuck. She didn't know how to classify him, she just knew that even losing him was just too much to deal with.

So she did what she hadn't done in a long long time. She got up from her bed and locked the door, and began searching for her hidden chocolates. She looked at one of the boxes and opened it. After some minutes she had ate all of the chocolates from two boxes. So she made her way to the large bathroom. To hell with her condition. She couldn't care less about this right now. She stuck her finger down her throat. Soon she was throwing everything out of her body. She began feeling really sick, and knew that once started, there was no way to come back. But again, she didn't care.

At some point she began feeling dizzy, and the last thing she saw was Serena entering her bathroom, with Chuck and Nate behind. What was happening? Then all she saw was the blackness.

* * *

Chuck knew he had been mean. He was Chuck Bass after all, being mean was his thing. But he also knew that he had crossed the line. He had messed up Blair's life, and her reputation was everything to her. Well, wasn't it for all of them? Blair had no "friends" now because of him. She had no boyfriend and she didn't even have Serena. But right now, he didn't care. All that mattered was that she had hurt him. And no one hurts Chuck Bass and walks away without suffering the consequences.

* * *

"Miss Serena, is Dorota. From the Waldorf's residence"

"Yes Dorota, I know. What's wrong?"

"I think you should come here. Miss Blair needs you."

"No Dorota, she doesn't need me. All that she needs is her reputation."

"You don't understand. Miss Blair got home crying and asked Ms. Eleanor to go to France. And now I hear sounds coming out of her room, like in her old days. I think her "condition" is back. Her mother isn't home, and Blair won't open the door. I think she needs her friends."

* * *

"_You have one new message. _Nate, is S. Meet me at Blair's penthouse in ten minutes. Please, it's urgent."

* * *

"Hi sis'. What do you want?"

"Chuck," Serena's voice was cracking. He heard the fear in her voice.

"What happened?"

"It's Blair. Meet me at her penthouse ok? I really need you're help."

"No way. This is a trap isn't it?"

"Please Chuck." She paused for a second. "Please Chuck, we need you're help."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Chuck hung up the phone and paid the bill thinking. S_omething is really wrong in this._

* * *

In less than ten minutes Chuck and Nate were in the elevator going to Blair's house. They weren't enjoying this situation at all. All the way up they didn't share a word. When the door opened, Nate got out as soon as possible and found Dorota.

"Miss Serena is waiting for you. She's at Blair's room. Please give this to her."

Dorota gave Chuck a key. He looked at it and then at Nate. They ran to Blair's room without thinking twice. They saw Serena in front of her closed door.

"What happened?" Nate was worried, Serena was crying and obviously desperate.

"Here," Chuck gave her the key. "What happened?"

She didn't answer, she just concentrated on unlocking the door. When it opened she ran immediately to Blair's bathroom. She saw Blair looking at her, and all of a sudden Blair fainted. She ran and caught her head before it hit the hard floor. Serena was crying harder now, Chuck and Nate who were right behind her, carried Blair to her bed. She was a mess. Her face was white snow and she looked so fragile. They heard Serena flushing the toilet, and the last piece of the puzzle fell into place.

* * *

Blair was hearing some voices, but she didn't know what they were saying. She was surrounded by this darkness and she didn't know where the light was. She tried to clear her head, but she didn't success. Of course, the voices weren't helping her at all. She tried to remember something, anything, but couldn't. The darkness was beginning to take control again, and she fell unconscious again.

* * *

"How did you know?" Nate asked sitting in the floor.

"Dorota called me. She said that Blair was going to F-France. And that she heard Blair. She thought Blair needed he friends." Her voice was only a whisper, but to all of them it sounded more like a shout. "Why did she want to go to France? Dorota said that she got home crying and desperate. It can't only be because of… the whole thing." She looked to Blair's sleeping face and added. "Something else happened."

What happened next no one expected.

"It's my fault."

_Chuck Bass telling the truth? That's not something you see everyday, that's for sure._

"What?" Serena and Nate said in unison.

"Blair came to see me. And we kind of had a discussion."

"What did you say Chuck?" Nate was having a really bad feeling about all of this.

"Well, she said that she didn't have friends anymore, and that I had ruined her life. That she had could only count on me now."

"What did you say?"

"I think my exact words were: 'You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. But now you're like one of the Arabians my father used to own; rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore. And I can't see why anyone else would.'" The last sentence he said whispering, looking at the floor. How could he have done that to Blair?

"Oh my God Chuck!" Serena began crying again. Chuck raised his head and saw Nate's expression, so he added fast. "I know, it was beyond mean. Even for me." He added as a last thought. "I regretted saying it right after these words left my mouth. But at the time I just couldn't stop myself. You think it's easy for me? She's the first girl I ever fell for! Me Chuck Bass, falling for somebody! I didn't know what to do, or what to feel! I've never felt this way before. I only told everything to Gossip Girl because she said that what we had hadn't meant anything at all for her, that she wanted to stay with you Nate!" he pointed to Nate and continued. "And now, she came and told me that she was there with me because she had no one else. How do you think that feels?" When he finished he turned and punched a wall. Punched once, twice, three times. When he saw his hand it was bleeding and hurting like hell.

"I don't care how that feels Chuck, learn to live with it! Not everything is like what we expect. And just because things go wrong, it doesn't mean that you have to go out there and hurt people, just so you can feel better!" Serena let out a sigh and turned when she heard Blair painful moan.

* * *

The fog in Blair's head was dissipating. But she still couldn't remember anything. She heard the voices again, she knew those voices. But she couldn't quite remember the names of the owners. The voices were whispering at first. But suddenly one of the whispers changed into a shout. She began recognizing that voice. She listened to it carefully. It was Chuck's voice, and then Serena's. Everything that had happened came back to her in the shape of strong and painful memories. Her eyes snapped open and she regretted it in the same moment. She closed her eyes, moaning because the lights had hurt them.

"Blair?" Serena's voice was closer now. She didn't want to open her eyes again, didn't want to face her.

She felt a hand squeezing hers and wondered if it was Chuck. "Blair? Please say something." It wasn't Chuck after all, it was Nate. What the hell was going on there?

"Please Blair. Talk to me." She could hear the tears in Serena's voice. She hated when Serena cried, it was the most awful thing ever! She always began sobbing really loudly and once she started nothing could stop her. The only thing you could do was stay with her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. So she opened slowly her eyelids, being careful with the lights.

She heard Serena's sighing and saw Nate's everything-is-better-now face. What she didn't expect to see was Chuck's worried and painful expression.

"Thank God Blair. You're awake." Serena pulled Blair into a tight hug. "You were not waking up, I was so worried!"

"How long… How long have I…"

"For almost two hours now." Chuck answered her unfinished question.

"Why don't you guys go and get some food with Dorota? Please…" Nate and Chuck understood Serena, she needed to speak to Blair. They just nodded and went searching for Dorota. "Blair, why did you do this?"

Blair turned her head away from her friend and looked at the floor.

"Please talk to me Blair."

It took a moment for Blair to speak, still looking to the floor, "I have no one Serena. Everyone hates me. And they have a reason. All of you. I don't even know what you guys are doing here. I was mean with you, with Nate and well, Chuck too. And he hates me. You all hate me I'm sure… What did you expect me to do? You can go now. Tomorrow I'm going to France. This way you won't have to see me again for a long long time. Aren't you happy?" Blair finished her speech looking at Serena. Pain in her eyes, such as some tears threatening to fall down. She wouldn't allow herself to cry right now.

* * *

The two boys walked side by side not talking to each other. Looking for Dorota. They didn't look much, they found her a few meters away from Blair's room.

"Dorota, can you please get Blair something to eat? She woke up."

"Of course Mr. Nate."

They got back to Blair's room and hoped that Serena had already talked to Blair. They stopped mid-way when they heard Serena asking Blair to talk to her. They heard Blair's answer and looked to each other. Shame in Chuck's eyes, concern in Nate's features.

They just stood there, in front of Blair's door thinking, until Dorota came with a tray with some food for Blair. Chuck got the tray and they entered her room. Serena and Blair were still holding each others gaze. Blair was the first to break there contact looking once to Chuck then to the tray he held. She looked away and said, "I'm not hungry." It was a lie, she was even felling weak. But she wasn't going to eat. Not now anyway. No, she couldn't. She just wanted them to get out of her room and let her be. Then she would eat everything and she was also sure that she would end up throwing everything up. Again.

"Don't lie to us. Don't lie to me B. I'm sure you're hungry. And we're not leaving until you eat something. And don't think that I will leave you alone after it, 'cause I know you're going to throw up after."

"_Damn. Serena really knows me."_ Still looking to the floor she said, "I won't eat. Go away. Why are you doing this to me? You want to make me suffer more? Want to make me pay for everything I've done to you? Well, you're winning. Just leave me alone. I just want to sleep. This way, tomorrow will come quickly and I'll go to France." She leaned in the bed and turned her back to all of them. Just wishing that they would go, because now, she couldn't hold her tears anymore. They didn't go. And after a while she felt Serena's hand in her back, trying to calm her down. Trying to make her stop sobbing. She was so tired. The weakness of her body was starting to take control over her body. She was a little dizzy too. After a while she was asleep.

* * *

They "worked" in shifts. Nate was the first one to go home to change clothes. He said to his parents that he was going to sleep over at Chuck's. When he got back Serena went to her "house" and took a quick shower in attempt to relax. It didn't help her. She told her mother she was going to Blair's. Chuck went home had a shower too. He changed clothes and when he was going out he stop and went over to his bar. While he drank he out his throbbing hand in a bucket of ice. His whisky didn't calm him, but his hand was better now. He got back and found Nate exiting the kitchen. Nate always ate when he was nervous. It was his habit. Chuck's was to drink, Serena's was to eat her nails. And Blair's was to throw up. The only thing was that Blair was stopping this nasty habit of hers.

Nate looked to his sandwich and offered to Chuck, who just shook his head and got his little bottle of whisky, offering it also. They got upstairs and found Serena sitting on the floor, her back in Blair's bed, and her head in the mattress. It looked like she was sleeping, her hands were in her lap. One of her fingers was stained of now dried blood.

Nate looked to Chuck and pointed Serena's sleeping form with his head. They left their food and drink in Blair's vanity table and went over to get hold of Serena. They put her in the bed next to Blair. Nate laid down next to Serena and Chuck next to Blair, just like they used to do when they were little and something was bothering them all. Thank God her bed big.

_

* * *

_

Thank God

_B.'s mother wasn't home, because if she entered B.'s bedroom she wouldn't understand the scene in front of her eyes._

It was morning already and during the night Blair turned to face Serena and they were now embracing each other. Nate and Chuck had their arms thrown carelessly over Serena and

Blair's hip.

* * *

No one dared to make a move. Blair was the last to wake up. She slowly remembered what had happened the previous night. But she was somehow feeling better now. She suddenly became more conscious and realized she was hugging somebody, and she felt someone's arm over her. She opened her eyes and saw Serena's eyes looking to her. She saw Serena being hold by Nate. He was also awake. That only leaved one person to be holding her. She turned her head and saw Chuck's chocolate brown eyes piercing her own. She turned her head again and just stayed there, breathing, between them. Thinking. After a while she spoke. It was a whisper, but loud enough for them all to hear her. "I'm sorry." She figured out that they didn't hate her. If they did, why would they be there lying down with her like they used to when they were little?

"Blair," she looked back to Chuck. "I'm sorry. For telling everything to Gossip Girl and for the way I treated you last night." She gave him a tiny smile, accepting his apologies.

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone B."

"And I'm sorry for calling your boyfriend low-rent S." She looked to Nate, "I'm sorry for not telling you about me and Chuck."

"And I'm for being so harsh on you."

Blair looked to Serena's hands and saw that one of her nails was almost gone from her finger. Still looking at it she said, "I promise I won't do it again. I'm really sorry."

They all hugged after this.

_This had become a rarer moment between them all, before they used to do it every time, in doors of course._

"You're not still going to France, are you B.?"

"I can't stay S. My reputation is gone." She had tears in her eyes. Chuck began running his hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her. "Everything is such a mess! Even Little Jenny thinks she can ignore me."

"Shh… You know it will all be better."

"They dethroned me! My whole life is falling apart."

The other three couldn't help but smile when Blair said that. This was so not important, but it meant the world to Blair.

"So rebuild it. You're a Waldorf, remember? People don't tell you who you are, you tell them. Stay and fight. We'll fight with you. Right you guys?" They nodded.

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm so…"

"So, what? Start over. It can be done. I should know. We can get through this together."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"You can count on me Blair." Nate's face was solemn.

"You'll always have me Waldorf. No matter what I say."

"Good Bass. I'll remember that."

They all laughed and hugged each other a little bit tighter. They stayed there all day with Blair, just laughing at stupid things and they were able to make her eat. She promised them she would speak to her doctor.

* * *

"You guys?" Blair said after a while. They were all in her bed, laying over it in different positions, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah B.?"

"I need help."

"With what?" Nate held himself into his elbows, to look better at Blair.

"To create a plan. Penelope dethroned me. If she thinks that I'll let it go she is so wrong. Who does she think she is? And also, I didn't forget about Little Jenny. If she thinks I'll ever forgive, well… She's also wrong."

"Everyone, I think Queen B. is back." Chuck said with a smirk.

* * *

"_One good scandal deserves another. Wonder who's going down next? Everyone, if B. has anything to say about it._

_Xoxo_

_Gossip Girl"_


End file.
